Almost exactly one year ago, in one single conversation with my son, my husband and I had our entire world come crashing down.
In that conversation, we found out that our three children had been hurt in the worst way imaginable by someone our family trusted. In that moment of extreme hurt and betrayal, Jesus brought us to rock bottom, but he also brought us to our knees. I don't even know how to describe the feeling of falling into a pit that you never knew was just lurking around the corner.
In the months following, I lost myself. I lost my hope, and I lost my joy. The indescribable pain we went through, took the front seat to everything we did for a very long time. It was the only thing I could think of from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep. Even while I slept, I had nightmares of what happened to my children. I constantly wondered where God was when my children were hurt, why he didn’t stop it, why he didn’t protect them.
Sadly, we had to learn how people with free will can use it in the most evil of things. God did not do this to us, but God allowed it to happen. God allowed us to hit rock bottom. Somehow, even if we didn’t feel it, we knew God would guide us through this tragedy, and He has.
Over the past 6 months, God has grown both my husband and I in leaps and bounds. We have both become more compassionate, more empathetic, and have learned to love deeper. What should have broken us, has only brought our family closer together. God has shown us that even through unspeakable tragedy, He can bring hope and joy out of the pain. He has even brought us to a place of forgiveness for the people who have hurt us so deeply. We have learned how to hold on, love deeply, and keep trusting God has an amazing plan for us and our children.
It is far from over. There has been no justice yet. But God has reminded me to be still and trust. He has reminded me over and over that even if there is no earthly justice, He does not allow evil to prevail. He does not allow evil to win. What the devil has meant for evil, God will use for his glory.
The last year, is the worst year we've ever had, but also the most incredible. To hold onto hope when you’re are going through the most heartbreaking thing, is incredibly hard. But Jesus has taught me so many things about my children, my husband, and most of all myself. We will not let this define us but use it to help us grow to be stronger better people. We hope it will help our children to become more compassionate and loving. It is not an easy road to travel, but I know who is by my side, and that makes it easier to handle.
Since the family is still seeking justice, their names cannont be published. If you would like to send a message to the author, please email email@example.com and it will be forwarded.
For more information on Child Sexual Abuse, head to www.d2l.org